So.... You're Telling Me There's a Chance!?!

Have you ever been to a picnic/bbq where the sunny weather couldn't be more beautiful, the company more enjoyable, the marinade more delectable, and the watermelon deliciously juicy and flavorful...... and then there's that one gnat that no matter how you try to shoo it away, continues it's annoying flyby's buzzing in your ear?

And then if the buzzing stops, you wonder if you accidentally ate it..... 

Nope, there's that darn buzzing again. The stupid thing won't die as you spend at least 30 minutes trying to clap it to death - and continuously missing it - before giving up. It's as if it singled you out specifically, and you'd swear you could hear it laughing at you as you curse Adam under your breath for this obnoxious pest.

Online dating - and the world of texting - is, in my opinion and experience, the worst part of dating as a Mormon single.... yet it is also one of the best. Some people naturally seem to know how to go about this kind of getting-to-know-you protocol, and then there are ten times more who just don't. Those are what I like to call: MSG (Mormon Single Gnat)

MSG is always where you don't want him to be.... like when I log on to my LDS single site and my chat window opens up within 5 seconds. I literally dread checking my email on these things for this very reason because undoubtedly it's the gnat I couldn't kill from the login before.

MSG never seems to get the message.... no matter how you approach it. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

My favorite is "Defensive MSG." This is the guy that accuses you of being judgmental after you decide to halt all communication when he reveals something disturbing.... like his poker addiction. And somehow in your efforts to get out of the conversation, his inability to keep the commandments becomes your shortcoming. (what the...!?!)

I've tried to be nice - I always try to be nice. It doesn't matter if it's chatting online, emails, or texting.... Then I try to be more clear.... then I resort to ignoring them and finally I'm so put out that I become upset.... and have even had to block a few of these gnats. (thank goodness for that saving option). 

It's a nasty cycle and not good on either party... I certainly don't appreciate being driven to that point... honestly, where's the respect? I protest! In fact, I insist that there is a better way..... 

One thing I have found through my work experience is that people respond to HONESTY.... doesn't matter how escalated things have become, honesty works every time.... and I'll teach you a magic phrase that can get you out of almost anything - with minimal resistance. But first let's explore why honesty is such a hard topic or approach. 

I don't know if this is just the Utah in me or what, but in the past, I've danced around the truth.... I've said everything but the truth, whether out of fear of hurting someone's feelings (such a girl thing to do) or I may not have even identified what the truth is yet, however, even when I figured it out, I'd still dance around it for the fear of being wrong....

Then, I had the amazing experience of living in Louisiana for 7 years.... and let me tell you - people down there tell you the TRUTH. They don't care how it comes out - they're doing you a favor! And how refreshing that is.

So here's my take..... tell the truth. It shows respect to yourself and to MSG. Honesty is always the best policy.... You can try: I'm not interested, but good luck to you.... and if that doesn't work, use the magic phrase: 

"I'm not comfortable with _______...." 

You can't argue with feelings, they trump every time.

--cl

"So.... you're telling me there's a chance!"