WHAT IS MORMON DATING?

HE SAID.........

Mormon Dating is torture.......not in a Jack Bauer kind of way mind you, but even Mr. Bauer would relent under this kind of pressure. 

In order to understand the culture of Mormon Dating, might I recall to your memory one of many anvil head smashing scenes as the Road Runner constantly mocks Wile E. Coyote....in essence you can often feel like you're pursuing to no avail while getting your head, heart, and eternal hopes dashed time and again. 

Ever heard of Cafe Rio? They have a punch card where you get a free meal after 10 punches. That's an awful lot of beans and bad breath for a free meal, but hey the pure bliss of hearing those words echo throughout the establishment...FREE MEAL... is so satisfying.  

In Mormon dating, there is no free meal. You'll get 10 punches for sure, or 70294870943758, depending on your level of stupidity.... or resilience. I know what you're thinking.... that's a lot of punches but even after all your efforts you often find yourself back at square one, wishing you could go back to beans and bad breath. Welcome to my world.

Why do I voluntarily subject myself to this torture you might ask? I'll let you know when I find the answers. 

I suspect I already know some of the answers, and maybe you do too.  

Maybe because loneliness is everything it's cracked up to be and I believe there's still someone out there for me no matter how hard I am to deal with.   

Maybe because I don't like sitting in church alone. 

Maybe because I'm an old-fashioned, hopeless romantic. 

Maybe because I'm hoping that somewhere among the sea of psychos there's that "one."

Just maybe.

You might be wondering how does this or any other kind of dating differ from the Mormon dating world? 

Stick around my friends.  You're about to find out. 

dl 

SHE SAID.........

If it were possible to describe to someone outside of our Mormon singles world what exactly Mormon dating entails, I might just find myself in a straight jacket..... and deservedly so as the exercise of repeating the same actions over and over again, hoping that maybe this time will be different, could very well be considered insanity.

For instance, didn't I attend stake dances as a YA? (And I'm pretty sure I didn't care for them then either…… but then, that’s just me. I’m not much of a Dancing Queen). Why, why am I still attending stake dances/aka Singles or Dees dances?

Because that's where you're supposed to go to meet a good guy..... or at least that's what they tell me.

So far as I know, I’m still looking.

Oh, I'm patient enough..... after all, the older - generation gap - men very nearly fight over who gets to dance with me and I even gave the token tall guy a second glance..... until he felt compelled to tell me during the 2 minute dance we were sharing, that he can't work because of his untreated OCD.

I've even faced my singles dance stalker time and again even though I try to be unpredictable, but there he is, every time..... in some form or other, following me all over the gym.... and at this point, I don't mind hearing all about your 27 grandchildren….. and sure, pull me a little closer grandpa and maybe this guy will take the hint..... probably not.

Besides the problem with incompatibility in a dance partner, or hopeful husband hunting ground, these activities have seemed to become just another place for Mormon singles everywhere to spew their life histories onto each other in less than a minute and a half.... all the while fighting generation gap’s too close embrace and lamenting to yourself, "No! Please no.... not another Latin rhythm song!" as you watch that one couple waltzing professionally by...... You know who they are. They're the ones who wear their special shoes each week.

Then, there's Munch & Mingles.... a brilliant activity and one I enjoy quite a bit, but it can feel totally awkward to someone who is visiting and knows pretty much no one – which is pretty much everyone. In that case, M&Ms begin to look more like the stake dances you attended as a youth..... except there's no music.

Singles Temple night is another activity I prefer, though I sometimes get annoyed with all the heads looking around the room, surely thinking to themselves that  certainly, if they could get a good look at who's there, they’ll recognize the “one” - especially under these inspired circumstances. And of course, my favorite….. the come on line in the Celestial room, "Wow... you look just like an angel in white." (Okay……Whoa on the personal revelation my friend….. I’m pretty sure I didn’t get the same message).

And why do I do this? Why do I repeatedly submit myself to this dating torture?

Because in order to meet your Mr. Right,  you have to go where the singles are. 

Because I too am lonely and tired of sitting in church alone.

Because I believe that underneath the insanity, there's a smart, timely, self-interested plan implemented for each of our individual purposes and that the happiness we seek in finding our eternal mates is very near to each of us if we do what we need to do. 

And, because I am romantic..... and hopeful that even amidst the 99%, I'll find my future in that 1% who happens to show up for the same reasons I do...... that maybe, just maybe this time will be different!

cl